watching the daily show and colbert report as foreplay　

when you’re tryin to be an adult woman doin womanly things and all you get told is how cute you are like thank you for the compliment but i wanna be taken seriously like no one suitable to touch wants to make out with a baby. 

my neighbors are really upsetting like in a very serious way one of them scares me so much

• hes a registered sex offender and went to jail for rape and he like comes over when my dad isn’t home and knocks on the door drunk and i am so scared. the first time he came over i answered the door and he was like “he’s not here is he.” all creepy as fuck and i was like um no but he’ll be home soon can i help you? and he like in real fucking life leered at me and walked away, and like our gate was locked and shut and he broke the lock to come to our door? its so scary omg my mom bought me pepper spray and ah why can’t i have nice neighbors
• i also live diagonal to a guy i got a little personal with while drunk once and like he’s coming home for the summer and i can’t show my face because i dont even think hes that cute wow kill me why can’t i have nice neighbors.

do the eggroll ~ peach kelli pop 

the cutest summery song ever